Forever...

I stared at my banner for about a minute. Hm, wala lang. Natripan ko lang siya titigan. Until I came to realize this...

Forever. A lot of people say that forever is a lie. Well. Maybe. I've gone through lots of promises about forever. Pag kasama mo pa ung people na 'to na kasama mong magpromise, it seems like there's really such thing as forever. But when time comes that you need to separate, distance and time just keep on winning over your promise. Then that becomes another used to be. :\ Siguro nga at first, after ng separation, you would still communicate with each other. But once you get busy. Once you meet new people. Once you get used with the absence. You would realize that you gotta move on. Past is past nga naman diba. So you would stop the communication, end the connection, and just try to forget the bond and worst, the vow. It just sucks whenever you remember this stuff, and you feel like you're the only one who still cares. Okay, bitter much. :)) Owell. Life goes on. :>

But despite all my experiences about it, I still believe in forever. New promises about forever were made. Yet, I'm not afraid to hang on to these new promises. Whether to have the same fate as the vows before is up to us. But this time, I won't be letting go. It may be hard especially if some of these people are away from you, but I won't be giving up this time. I won't let this obstacle win again. Cause now, I believe that as long as you keep the fire burning, it won't ever fade. That is forever.

I don't wanna have another regret in the end.. another Forever Over and Friendship Over.

So, can we really make this last forever this time? *pinky promise*

With girl friends. :)

I went to school kanina 'cause we need to pay for our Research tour. :) It was also the orientation and enrollment for the incoming Freshmen. :P Anyway. So I spent the day with my girlies. Kwento galore first with my besties while making tambay sa Stix. :P Then we roamed around until mapasama na sa'min sila Abby M, Abi J, Hannica and Noreen. :) We saw kuya Naz pa, omg. x) :)) Anyhow, we made tambay again sa lobby. So ang dami nang naki-join sa'min. Played a little basketball under the sun. :)) While playing, nilapitan ako ni Enz. He asked for a talk, e I was still having a hangover from the y'know that time na lumapit siya, so I was mean enough that time na di siya masyado ientertain. >:P Okay, sorry naman diba. So anyway ulit, after watching the water rocket practice, we decided to go na. Ako, Abby M, Abi J, Hannica (Abby R din si Hannica), Lec, and Cy went to SM. Ang gulo pa namin on the way. Pinagttripan kasi namin ung tatlong Abigail na kasama namin. :)) As soon as we arrived sa mall, we went straight sa Blue Magic. Tambay galore muna there. Tapos biglang dumating si Aika, tapos alis din siya. We went sa Hypermart, supposedly to eat. Then we decided sa Mcdo na lang kasi we wanted Coke Float. So yun, nagkataon din na dumating ung boys (Migg, JM, Enz, Jarev) sa Hypermart nung paalis na kami. Deadma galore. :P Nakasalubong nanaman namin si Aika dear, loner so sinama na lang namin siya. Ang gulo namin sa Mcdo. Todo chikahan. :)) Ingay namin. Enjoy pa kami panoorin ung Kiddie Crew. :)) Haha! So anyway, after the long tambay sa Mcdo. Uwian na kami. Naferment kami ni Aika sa FX, ang tagal kasi. So kwentuhan lang kaming dalawa while waiting. Ang ingay namin dalawa. :)) Dumaan si ano, deadma pa din ako. I'm so bad. Err. So yun, pagdating sa house. Rest, text galore. :)

Same kami ng alter ko na complicated ang love life. :)) Different situations nga lang. Ung isa, nagmamahal kahit alam na hindi marreturn ung love niya.. martyr! Ung isa naman, mahal na nga ng guy, hindi pa i-love ng totoo ung guy.. malabo! :))

Hmm, I was able to talk to ate Abby E din pala sa phone. Kwento kwento. :) Ang kulit namin. :)) So ayun, puno ang day ko ng mga Abigail.. M, J, E, and R. :))

New tawagan. Si Sio and Mai. :)) Sio ko si Deniece. :)) We're SIOMAI mehn. Delicious. Kiddin' :))

Enough na nga. Tawa na lang. :)) :]

About the conflict...

My evening was set on fire. We tried to fix na the conflict, well, in a not so good way. Gosh, pati ung IM box namin on fire. Har.

>"ano ako? laruan? na pag hindi mo gusto, ayaw mo na .. at pag nagustuhan mo ulit, mamahalin mo na naman?"
<"Kaya nga ginagawan ko ng paraan pag ganito nararamdaman ko diba. Hindi naman ako perfect na pag sinabi kong ganito, stable na yun."
>" alam mo kasi, kung mahal mo ang isang tao, dapat siya ung pinaprioritize mo dahil mahal mo nga xa eh .. and besides, bestfriend mo xa .. san ba nanggagaling ang M.U at boyfriends and girlfriends? diba galing yan sa pagka.bestfriend? nag.uupgrade, ika nga .."
<"MAHAL KO DIN SILA."

Okay. Bits lang yan sa hot conversation namin. Hay.

My YM status caught attentions so some friends (especially AA friends) asked what's wrong. I made kwento so here are some lines from our conversations that caught my attention or touched me..

Arra Castro (4/25/2009 6:34:26 PM): Hindi ka bad. If he isn't someone who'd make you WANT to do something for him, then maybe you're not just that into him.
Arra Castro (4/25/2009 6:40:13 PM): Hindi mo kaya na wala siya or ayaw mong malaman anong feeling pag wala siya?
Arra Castro (4/25/2009 6:40:57 PM): If you appreciated it correctly, his efforts would have worked pero paminsan pag hindi galing sa tamang tao yung affections, they go unnoticed and are underappreciated.
Arra Castro (4/25/2009 6:46:51 PM): Kasi pag commitment, people tend to settle down, forget the romance and talk of really serious things. It's boring.
Arra Castro (4/25/2009 6:57:16 PM): Usually, people important to you want you happy. E tingin nila diyan ka masaya kaya boto sila. What if they knew you were unhappy? Boto pa rin kaya sila?

Martha Mina (4/25/2009 8:40:27 PM): Hope you feel better na later, Raye >:D<
Martha Mina (4/25/2009 8:43:14 PM): Ilabas mo yan if you have to. It'll help big time :)

Eunice de Vera (text): "..Dont rush things up. Kayong dalawa, sayang pa nga. He should wait para mafeel mo yun.."

Lyka Garcia (4/25/2009 9:44:20 PM): ANO KA BA
Lyka Garcia (4/25/2009 9:44:27 PM): GUSTO NG GUY PINAPAFEEL NA LOVE MO SIYA
Lyka Garcia (4/25/2009 9:44:32 PM): SAY SORRY
Lyka Garcia (4/25/2009 9:44:33 PM): SAY SORRY
Lyka Garcia (4/25/2009 9:44:36 PM): AND CHANGE
(sabay..)
Lyka Garcia (4/25/2009 9:48:34 PM): ngeh
Lyka Garcia (4/25/2009 9:48:37 PM): infatuation nga lang yun
Lyka Garcia (4/25/2009 9:48:38 PM): MOVE ON =))

Aleck Palisoc (text): "..Alam mo Bes, walang perfect relationship. Syempre may pagkakamali or pagkukulang ka at siya so dapat intindihin niyo lang yung isa't isa.."
"It takes a second to say I love you, but a LIFETIME to SHOW it."
"Love is not big on talk. It requires the action that comes along with the talk!"

All of them have helped. :) Thank you, friends.

Well. In the end, we have managed to fix it naman. Though, somehow may hangover pa din. So it'll take sometime to extinguish the fire. :)

:-< :)

Para sa'yo...

Psst. Para sa'yo 'tong second post ko.
Maraming makakabasa nito, alam ko, pero dito ko na lang dadaanin lahat ng naffeel ko.

Naguguluhan ako. Sa lahat ng sinabi mo para ipa-realize sa'kin ang mga stuff, naguguluhan ako. Di ko na kasi maintindihan ung talagang naffeel ko. Akala ko after ko magsawa and getting back to you again, akala ko okay na.. na wala nang magbabago sa feelings ko. Pero naeewanan na ko. Di ko lam kung bakit natitiis kita. Di ko alam kung bakit lagi akong tamad or di feel gumala with you. Di ko lam kung namimiss pa ba kita. Waaa! I know na nahihirapan or nalulungkot ka dahil sa mga to. Hay. I feel like I'm not deserving for your love. Pabago-bago kasi ako ng nararamdaman. Hay. Ano ba 'to. Sorry. Hindi pa naman tayo e (kasi may promise pa kong dapat tuparin sa isang importanteng tao para sa'kin), kaya kung nahihirapan ka na sa'kin, you're free naman lagi.. Pero kung di ka pa din sumusuko despite all of these, thank you. Gagawa ako ng way para di naman mabalewala lahat ng ginagawa mo for me. Hindi ko pwede ipagpilitan ngayon, kaya sana bigyan mo ko ng time para kusa kong mafeel ung mga things na gusto mong mafeel ko.

Basta, MAHAL po KITA. Yun sabi ng puso ko.

Being in my own world...

"When I'm in this state, I feel like I'm in a parallel universe. I'm surrounded by people, but I'm oddly detached..."

It goes with the title, Being in my own world... This is how I can relate with the statement above. I am surrounded by a lot of people, connected with many of them, yet I feel detached... I feel like I'm living my own little world. :\

Summer. Yes, it is summer. It should be fun, enjoyable, blissful, or whatever adjectives related to these. But my summer isn't like that at all. Here I am, stuck up, enjoying each day in front of my best summer bud.. the computer. It is not that boring, actually. But I feel like I'm living the same day over and over again. I feel like a robot programmed to do the same things everyday. It is like a routine already. Pss. :\ But what's weird is that, I do not even have the enthusiasm to go out with my friends. Hmm. I want a change in this "routine", and whenever there's a chance, I don't feel like grabbing it. Okay, it's sucking big time. :\ Har. I wanna be somewhere else. Somewhere far. Blah. Ewan. Nakakabaliw pala 'to. :)) :] I hate it. I tend to be sentimental during these times. :] Pft.

I want an UPBEAT in my life! x]